i'm going to make use of livejournal's friend only entry from now.
so yep drop me a comment if anything. ;)

exams are over . like finally ugh. weirdly enough, the only time when i couldn't sleep this whole exam period was last night. i can't decide if i was stressed (seeing that i only attended 3 lectures for this sem for this stupid course ugh) or if it was the few spoonfuls of coffee i stole cause i felt like having some, or if its because of that ache somewhere deep down where i just can't place a finger to.
maybe, its just a combination of all 3. but it was a good two hours, trying to read my notes, watching the rain fall and watching the stupid sky get bright  knowing that i should be asleep sigh heh and probably pouring it all out to God.

and i know that though the future's uncertain, and sometimes the things you feel just seem to all point one direction. I'll continue to trust God, cause this times i don't want any more mistakes, especially not with this. like thong said, look back at God's faithfulness, and walk out into the uncertainity with faith :) so pls remind me of this k haha.

and late last night, God reminded me of this through the qt.

"Friendships based on prayer and love will result in growth and maturity. If we place everything in God's hands, He will work through us in mighty ways. And one of the greatest ways to see God work is through our friendships."

:) exam free days are finally here!
 

:) :) :) :)
because SPCH 2205 is over, SPCH 2204 paper is over and physiology is finally finally out of my life. 
because today I got to spend time with the people who matter.
and because i know the next two weeks are going to be great
hehe its gonna be a good day ahead
weekends always always are :)
and here's one for you :) if you're reading.
i hope you're having a good a day as i am.

because some friends stay no matter what happens
and some friends you know you can entrust your life and your heart to them when you don't trust yourself with it
and some friends know you in and out, and yet still stand by you in spite of what the world says and friends who stay by you when the tears are flowing down, and when some things just seem to hurt so much.  
thank you to all who have been there for me, when the world seemed to be so gloomy
special thanks to those who have shown me that proximity is not everything. even if we're 10 steps from each other, or many many zones apart in different areas, we'll always always there.

    

                   

this just sucks
because everything that happens just seems to add more to it.
but we're all going to keep each other sane together.
because just because we know sisterhood never dies :)

"because He lives
I can face tmr
because He lives
all fear is gone
because I know, I know
He holds the future
and life is worth the living
just because He lives"

livejournal says "last updated entry 16 hrs ago"
its been a long and very draining 16 hrs
right now i just want to crawl into my bed
and hide in my cave with the people who matter
thank you to the many yous for understanding :)
i love yous.

its been a very interesting semester , so many things have happened of ups and downs of staying strong together, of holding on and of knowing that in life you only need these number of people to pull you through. thank you thank you to all who have been there for me. for listening when i needed to rant, for giving space when i needed it, for not giving up on me, for spicing up the weekends and for being my shoulder to lean on when i needed it.


thank you for always being there and when i say always, it just means always, period. for our $3.50 bottles of coke at 7-11, for knowing when i needed to cry and let it out, for calling me when you knew i wasn't there, for being the rare one who can read me without me having to say a word.for walking with me through the ups and downs for the past many many years, and still not giving up on me, thank you :)

thank you for all the times you understood why i had to do certain things, even though everyone else couldn't. and for learning with me as we see that at the end of the day, its us and the significance of "screw you" that keeps us sane. for standing with me knowing that this world isn't exactly the most simple world to be in. thank you for standing up for me all the time,for teaching me to believe in things when sometimes it seems simpler to just give up.thank you.

thank you so much for always sacrificing to make me happy, for believing in things when i stopped. for the many many many happy memories together, for all the efforts you've put in, for all the laughters, all they silly moments and for being there when i was grumpy and upset and depressed. thank you. i'm sorry for all i did, and i really really hope you'll be happier soon,and know that you'll always have a place in my heart.

thank you for all the times you were my pillar of strength. for keeping me strong when everything else seemed to crumble ard me. for believing in me, when i stopped believing in myself. for finding me, when i didn't know where to go, and for being honest , very honest at the risk of everything. thank you.

thank you for encouraging me and cheering me on, regardless of the time we've spend together this period. for not giving up on this friendship, even when things hurt. for being honest and open even when times got tough. for understanding and for putting this above other things, thank you.

thank you and you and you and you for trusting us even when everyone else doubts. for saying that its going to be ok, even when others didn't thought so. thank you so much for that :)



and I know that God's purposes and plans are higher than mine, and I pray that i will learn to follow Him and what He has instead of things that i want. because at this point, the cross roads seem to be looming ahead, and decisions have to be made. and its probably harder when people's emotions are involved. but for now pls keep me in prayer thank you :)

 this is so frustrating.

i am in an excessively happy mood tonight. so much that i can't pass the chance of blogging it so that on days when i'm down and out, i'll remember that i still have a life at times. honestly i have no idea why i'm happy( a better word for it would be joyful :) ) haha but i'll try though

i'm joyful/happy because

after eons and eons of searching, we finally got a gigantic monster ass of a size washing machine :)

we finally found a good cheap and big tv :) here comes the nights of me against the PS for puzzle fighter haha :)

the weather's been cool and great and waking up at 645 allows me to see the sunset on the brisbane river :)

amanda and i donated blood today, and it always makes me feel that little bit happier walking out of the van :)

God has blessed me with a wonderful group of speechies to make life bearable with a 5 day 8am week :)

the fridge is icey cold which means i got to make my first honey milk tea ice blended in brisbane (which sucked to be honest i need you here kane haha ) :)

i've finally finished sending out all the gazillion of emails that i was procrastinating to send out and now its done :)

netball is starting soon again, its back to the game i love :)

i've got many many new songs in my itunes and i'm blasting them on my speakers :)

and finally to make my happy night happier

i've decided to put the m&ms bottle into use again, so here's to many nights of picking out m&ms :)
though i would really be a tad happier if it was fully filled haha.

two words. its simple
Praise God! :)



most of all just looking at him smile
makes my heart smile too :) 

its tuesday night, and it feels weird not having to cheer the mix team on, to warm up for our own game, to fight with the opponents, and to come together for a laugh after that. i'm missing the podders. the game i love with the people i love. what a wonderful sem its been :)

its been the best weekend i can ever ever remember for the longest time.
it started off  fun with a trip down to pancake manors, and a mini sleepover with hero who lied damn well too.
and then karen got my ass up to go to hawken for "breakfast, and to buy ingredients for baking cupcakes"
so off we went trudging up hills and down valleys before finally reaching our destination haha
and while i was trying so hard to decide between turkish bread with bacon, cheese and egg or turkey and cranberry sauce.
i didn't know the most important ppl in my life had something else better planned behind my back :)
here goes :

        and  

guess who I saw!




my darling parents made a trip all the way down from sunny island just to surprise me for my birthday! haha ok i didn't look this happy and this excited when i first saw them. i was in shock and all i could say was look at my dad and went "uh" looked at my mum and went "uh". hahaha but it was probably cause i wasn't fully awake. but boy was i happy! :)
and i thought that was all. but no there was surprise part 2! heh we went up to mt cootha to enjoy the view and see the sights of brisbane. and was about to head to boatshed for a nice cosy family dinner. but guess what happened at boatshed.

the people who basically defined my life in brisbane were all there!! :) :)



thank you for such a wonderful surprise guys! its really the best birthday i've ever had. if this is a glimpse into what being 21 is like, i'll definitely enjoy every moment of it :)

thank you to the parents and my bestest best friends for making this happen

    

happy happy photos! :) thank you thank you all for such a great birthday celebration

     

  

i am feeling really really really loved right now :)
thank you so much to the people who matter the most.
i love you.

so many things been happening recently haha time's flying. and its scaring me a little but its ok! haha that means june's coming :)
i hate assignments and exams, we should have more erm sharing session so we can learn from it but not be graded or something.
sydney road trip was good! despite the guys attempts to downplay the fun that we would have haha oh well.
and then i come to realise that proximity in itself is a whole lot of problem altogether. and things really do change with them, even those things that you thought would last till forever. but i guess its okie. its about phases in life, and if anything, that's one thing to remind me that nothing nothing last forever. but like what karen reminds me, "sufficient in Christ's sufficiency" , and i guess at the end of the day, it's all that matters :)


much love :)

Punchinello laughed.
'Me special? Why?
I can't walk fast. I can't jump.
My paint is peeling.
Why do I matter to you?"

Eli looked at Punchinello,
put his hands on those small wooden shoulders,
and spoke very slowly.
"because you are mine,
that's why you matter to me."

---

"Remember"
Eli said as the Wemmick walked out of the door,
"you are special because I made you.
And I don't make mistakes."


-  Max Lucado
    You Are Special

i was reading roo's entries and i really missed the old days back home.
everything was easier then, having to live your own life
enjoying things the way things were.
i'm just a bit tired actually, of having to actually deliberately remind myself about
what not to do and what to do.
it feels like i'm perpetually living in the shadow of people's life
its just feels like it'll never be good enough no matter what happens
and i'm currently at a loss at how to break out of this cycle
i just wish i could start afresh somewhere else
but running away is always the easiest and yet most unprobable option
oh well.

:)




      
                                       



happy 2 together :)

thank you thank you thank you so much for understanding.
haha telepathy works even when we're a thousand miles away huh? :)
hugs you're truly a godsend.

i love you my dear.



a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken. how true :)
hugs

i think i've finally settled into life back here again. God's been gracious these few days, been really seeing a lot of beautiful sunsets, and just admiring His amazing creation. School's settling down, ups and downs of course, but think its time to start getting serious, looking at the number of empty and clean physiology notes i have hmm. haha time to fill it up i think. Think the highlight of my week is still netball and ocf :) these two are the only things that are actually keeping me alive at the moment.

 its the planning for strategies, the training together and seeing how everyone improves, the butterflies flying around in before competitions, and actually going on court to fight it out with the team. these people really mean so much to me :) and i think we've all grown as a team, whether in skill level or in getting to know each other better.

been having a lot of thoughts about things recently , and sometimes i just wish things weren't as complicated.i guess sometimes new things always seem better, but let's not go there. i think i really shoudl learn what it means to share and share in all aspects sigh. other than that, i'm really enjoying every moment here. and every time i look at the people around me be it in speech, in netball or in ocf, i know that i'm really blessed to have such wonderful friends around :) its literally a home away from home.

     

one week ago, it was the start of the holidays and now, i'm dreading school on monday yet again. sigh time flies when you're having fun. too much fun in fact. this easter holiday was really one that's filled with too many fun things haha. surprise birthday parties, sleep overs, circle of death and lots of drinks, talking till the sun came out and camp camp camp and more camp.

but camp was really fantastic. arthur and i led a discovery group at camp, and it was the first time in 21yrs that i actually did evangelism. God's really gracious, it's been a really interesting journey from preparing the questions, to going through it with arthur, then the group and seeing how everyone changes slowly through the three days at camp. From not sharing any prayer request, to everyone having prayer requests to share with at the end of the 3 bs sessions. Got to know people better at camp, and made some friends with the GU side as well . Playing war games, fighting human futsal and captain's ball, enjoying the home-cooked meals, talking with each other in the girls bunk, dancing around, having fun with the skits and just chatting into the night. everything just seemed so enjoyable, damn no wonder im' having post camp syndrome. but the talk with arthur really made me see alot of things in a new perspective. about what OCF vision was, abt caring for others etc. and I think this time the camp really brought me closer to God again, seeing how He's been walking me through it all, and how He uses others to encourage me. i'm really thankful for that. :)

and now its back to reality, damn. but i'm thankful really for that wonderful one week of fun and fellowship.
you guys mean the world to me :)



       

i love you :)